But before I delve into this, let's discuss the whole concept of giving flowers. I myself have sent or delivered flowers for sympathy, for new babies, for birthdays, and because a friend didn't get the job she wanted...I've even picked a flower from a tree to bring to a boyfriend just for kicks. That last one was free, but for the most part flowers are expensive. So when you give someone flowers, are you subliminally saying: check out how much cash I dropped to make you feel good! I would hope not, and this is not the reason I myself would want flowers.
Not counting the lovely bouquet my step-dad hand delivers to me every year on my birthday, my experience with flowers from men is few and far between. The first time was a sloppy pile a couple neighborhood boys had yanked from some old lady's garden and left at my doorstep. Then there were the two roses sitting on this guy's car seat. Then two or three sets of birthday/Valentine's day flowers from my one and only long-term relationship (mostly because I insisted and bugged him). Next up, apology tulips from the same relationship. Followed by blue flowers from a rebound something-'ship on the day it ended. And finally, surprise Secret Flowers from a not-so-surprise Secret Admirer last year. In this sporadic gathering of instances, I have yet to receive flowers* from my current boyfriend of nine months.
Is there something wrong with this?
Not at all really. Flowers are beautiful, but they do die, and the more you receive, the less you probably remember about them, individually...except that you generally receive them. In other words, after awhile, they're undoubtedly expected. The trickery for me is that, while I have yet to receive flowers from my boyfriend for any occasion--whether it be a silly month anniversary, an apology, my birthday, or Valentine's day--a part of me always expects them.
I can't tell you how many times I hoped for a surprise as I skipped down the steps of my old apartment to vestibule to let him in. Or the times when he'd meet me at work for coffee or lunch. And then there's this past Sunday, I was out traversing the entire metro-area, shopping for various food items to make us a lovely little V'Day dinner at home. As I got nearer to our apartment, a curiosity swirled and bubbled in my brain: Did he leave a nice modest little bouquet for me to find when I returned? The closer to home I got, the more obsessed with the idea I became. I ran up the stairs, opened the door, and literally scampered throughout our place...finding no flowers of course. That's what I mean by expectations. But you know what's funny? I was actually a little relieved when I found nothing. At this point, the whole "not-getting-flowers" thing is so blown up in my head, that the overflowing expectation will totally downplay the day I finally DO get them.
Before I go painting my wonderful boyfriend into this shabby, dimly-lit corner, I need to add a few tibits to this story. He is most definitely not without his surprises. For example, when I came home from my 30th birthday lunch with my step-dad, I walked into our living room with the Beatles' "They Say It's Your Birthday" blaring from the stereo, champagne and a cupcake with a candle sitting on the coffee table, along with a wrapped box containing a gorgeous diamond necklace...oh and a spotless apartment because, little did I know, he was helping my mom and sister prepare for a surprise party later that night. In addition to this, there have been simple and lovely McDonald's pumpkin pie surprises at work, and Starbucks upside-down Caramel Macchiatos he brings home to me. Once he brought home some Mexican beer and cooked me yummy tacos for our month-iversary...a random seven months to boot!
*Also, I have to admit that I actually have received an interesting version of flowers from my boyfriend. As an apology for sleeping through our lunch date one day (I know right?!), he took a Polaroid of a garden next door, upon which was written "For you...No water needed." It truly was touching, the more I thought about it. The gesture absolutely captures the essence and soul of this blog: inexpensive, creative, unique, and memorable.
So with that said, perhaps I'll continue to see my sister receive bouquet upon bouquet of gorgeous roses for various red-letter days. Perhaps I'll sigh over friends' photos of their flowers on Facebook. But hopefully my boyfriend won't--after reading this--mockingly take a stance to never even give me so much as a Polaroid of flowers! Because it was sweet, and something that sets him apart. As I tend to hammer into your heads from time to time, creativity, even in its utmost simplicity, speaks volumes.
